After I went through that really hard break up and had that moment of joy and peace knowing that God allowed this for good, I then assumed I would be ok and I would never be sad again. I thought I would always be able to see that God is sovereign in my situation and I don’t have to be sad knowing He has a plan. Wow, that is so much easier said than done.
I initially got discouraged when I would have really awful days where I would just weep and be so confused on how the person who once loved me so much could do this to me. The heartbreak was real and it wasn’t going away. I was irritated and felt like if I didn’t feel joy all the time, then I wasn’t trusting God.
This was a huge thing I learned while going through such a difficult time. I fully trusted God and knew He was in control, and in knowing and reminding myself of this I actually found the most hope and peace. But, I went through something really hard, and to not be sad would’ve been not normal. I realized and am still realizing that I can be growing and doing great, but still have some days that are really tough and when I cry.
Being stuck in this place is where I know I am wrong. I can feel pain, sadness, rejection, hurt, but then lift my eyes and cry out to Jesus for comfort and for hope and peace and He is so faithful in giving it to me when I need it.
I have seen a ton of similarities between what I’m going through and what new believers go through. When people first get saved, I think many times they believe God will now do good for them and no bad will ever happen to them again, but then they’re hit with a trial and they’re confused and they question God. This is exactly what Satan wants. He wants these new, baby Christians to question God’s goodness.
I have fallen short in many ways and done the same. I believe questioning God is natural when going through a hard time. Why has He allowed this? I’m a Christian; why is He bringing a trial into my life? Job did the same when his kids, land, and livestock were taken from him. But, the Bible never says that life will be easy once we give up control and give our lives or our circumstances to Him.
We are promised trials and it is actually good because it is a testing of our faith. Look at Paul in the Bible! At the time of his conversion, life did NOT get easier. It got so much harder.
2 Corinthians 11:25-27- “Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; 26 on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; 27 in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure.”
I look to Paul for encouragement a lot of times when I am feeling weak and discouraged to see all that he endured, but joyfully for the sake of Christ. He was human too and had emotions like anger, sadness, pain, etc. There were time he hurt so much he asked the Lord to take the pain away.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10- “8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
I know God is going to use my pain for His glory and for my good. Life may not ever get easier, but that could be what God is going to use for His glory, and He could use me to show other that when I am weak, He is strong! Becoming a Christian, I have given God complete control of my life, fully trusting that He knows what is best!